hard day

yesterday was just a bad day.

in trying to rescue my very favorite and picked on (by an aggressive gold breast male who relentlessly chases him) strawberry finch, he accidently escaped out of his cage. the one i was trying to save, was lost. i watched in horror as he flew into a nearby tree. he demise was sure. he could never find his way back, and never survive the cold and lack of food in my backyard. sort of felt like the time a set a rat trap for a pest who frequented my trash enclosure and found a blue bird had discovered the peanut butter instead. i have had him for over six years, watched his mate die of some weird disease which disfigured her face, then moved him into a larger aviary outside, where he was the inspiration to get more finch friends and even a cute new mate, who was the closest i could find to a strawberry. he was healthier than ever, strong and sure even in his old age. his nails curled the wrong way, he had a hard time gripping his perch sometimes, but he turned a vibrant shade of red with little white spots during mating season and he had the sweetest, unique song i would hear in the early morning. apparently too, it is impossible to buy another one, as they are not imported into the united states and
no one is breeding them for some reason, so he was indeed a rare bird.

 i waited outside in the evening yesterday listening for his call for over an hour. i could hear him in a far off tree for awhile, then his chirp was no longer. i was hoping for a miracle this morning, like the time his mate got out and then miraculously flew back into the house the next day, after surviving the night in a terrible rain storm. miracles do happen, and i am a firm believer in faith. however...

i think i give up.

so to my little strawberry finch,

wherever you are, please know you were my favorite.