emma is off on her big adventure. woke up at 4:30 am to take her to san diego, for her flight to detroit, then rome. pathetic photo taken with my old school blackberry...forgot the canon, and couldnt seem to take a photo with her phone.
the camera button would not work for me.
i think i am phone retarded.
anyway, check out her new purse...finally talked her into a shoulder bag after much debate as to what a "shoulder bag" really is, and also debating what a "satchel" is. i also talked till i was blue in the face, about the various security benefits of carrying a bag which you can hold close to your body, and slung over your head.
she finally relented and listened to me...yesterday, so we were at the spectrum doing the last minute shopping when she really should have been home packing.
that girl can be so difficult...and so stubborn.
i think she may be in for a rude awakening when everything and everyone doesnt look like they are from orange county. cant wait to hear all about it.
cant wait to see photos...i hear there is also a yacht at their disposal too.
i have to post about all of the amazing, heartfelt and beautiful comments i have received on my blog about Dr David Schmelzle. He was/is a wonderful, compassionate and loved man who touched the lives of thousands and will continue to do so through his children and grandchildren.
Please keep the comments coming. You can leave them here.
I am sure his family would one day like to read all of these touching remembrances from those who are missing him.
In the meantime...our hearts go out to his family and friends, patients and colleagues.
usually when i write on this blog, most of the time know what i am going to write...sometimes even have it all planned out in my mind the night before. this blog is serving as my journal of sorts...something i will have printed up and then put on the shelf for my great grandchildren to read someday. i dont write for anyone else, but me...and my kids, and my extended family. just so happens it is public, so you folks can take a peek into my life. i am good with that. not sure how many people read this, but i am aware of a few. hope i keep you entertained.
today my mind is blank. nothing really going on. emma getting ready for italy, early morning departure tomorrow. i am a bit anxious for that. air conditioners still out, and the backyard is still the biggest mess on the planet. have laundry to do, and a closet to sort and clean. must get ready too for a trip to utah taking the kids to efy...lots of mundane mom stuff on the calendar. watering the yard by hand this morning too, as the sprinklers need to be off for the pool work. will unload the dishwasher soon. maybe even vacuum later. dogs are at my feet, sleeping.
so i stumbled upon this photo. when this photo was taken, i had no idea where my life would take me, the journey i would be led on. couldn't even imagine my kids as teenagers, let alone young adults. the thought of college never entered my mind. would never have imagined either, i would have another one. life was good.
and my mother... she has always been there for me, always around to pick up the pieces. she is a great woman. i hope i possess even a few of her amazing qualities.
so, loved looking at this old photo, and reminiscing about life when it was simple, uncomplicated and sweet. when i just had little children to look after and playgroup to worry about. when only a few were old enough to even attend school, and the others were left behind to keep me company at home. toddlers with pacifiers and little ones with curious hands.
maybe that's why i love the nursery kids so much.
my life continues to be good, just a bit more complicated and dramatic and the children around me no longer fit on my hip. they've gotten way more expensive and their issues, schedules and schoolwork sometimes take on a life of their own.
this is dr david schmelzle, my beloved pediatrician from fallbrook. when i lived in murrieta i would drive the 20 minutes or so to his office because he was just excellent (and because there was no decent healthcare in temecula). he was kind, but firm, direct but compassionate. he knew his stuff. you felt safe in his care and i listened carefully to every word of advice he gave me. i took my newborns to him, took my tweens there too. as a mother, the pediatrician you choose becomes such an integral part of your life...the one who you could ultimately go to to save your childs life.
and we always got the sticker on the way out....
he passed away sunday. he apparently had a heart attack. information relayed to emma from a long lost friend from fallbrook. she got a random text, telling her the tragic information. i listened to her tell me the news...stunned. i couldnt stop thinking about him...his family, his patients...i was sad. still am.
he was a great family man too. 5 kids and a long, good marriage.
so a big thank you to dr schmelzle for caring for my kids and many, many others.
hope the angels are taking care of you now.
maybe you can care for all the little children up there.
so i guess toby is making his feelings known about all of the construction going on in the backyard and all of the fun that is NOT taking place back there...
this big lug of a weimaraner is not shy about conveying his feelings. when he is jealous he tells you, when he is lonely for mom, he pouts and sulks and sometimes tears up books from the bookcase when left alone... he gets a little grumpy when he is sleeping and is not shy about saying, "hey dont touch me." he is my alarm clock, almost always is waking me up at 5:30am on the dot. he likes to watch animals on tv, cocking his head in such a cute way...he gets really excited when humans put running shoes on...thinks he is going for a walk...and knows exactly when 5pm rolls around too. time for dinner. he can seriously tell time.
so, i'm not surprised he told us how he felt about the bombing in the backyard....and for those of you who cant really make out what the photo is all about...that is a big poop
in the bottom of the newly tiled pool.
craig was the lucky one elected to clean it up.
so thank you toby for relaying your pent up feelings to us. i will cancel your appointment with the doggy psychologist this month. i think you got it off your chest.
so aenon is in washington dc with some friends for a week. my blackberry is constantly buzzing with all of these photos she is taking of amazing, priceless artwork. she is loving this trip. i can hear it in her voice. love her interest in the arts and her love of things that make you think and ponder. she is a perfect combination of brain and artistic genius.
dont think she will be able to fit it all in, in just one week.
too hot in our house with now 2 air conditioners not working. the bottom floor unit hasnt worked in awhile-too cheap to get the ac man out here to get his gold plated hammer out so he can charge us billions of dollars just because we live behind a stupid gate. hate it. anyhow, have been living with creative fan usage and lots of open windows at night
(you burglars out there, dont get any ideas.)
anyway, we decided to get out of the hot house and go to the club pool. a little bit of heaven from the rather large oven we occupy and the bombings in the backyard. my house is a mess, so just ignoring it all and leaving it behind seemed like a good idea. unfortunately we had to return to this furnace disguised as a home. oh well, the ice cream sandwiches and the chatty little boy who was permanently attached to me while in the water made it all good.
this is a photo of my sister's home in draper, maybe about 1981 or 82...my mom and my sister standing on the front porch. not sure why i took this photo. i think i was at byu at the time. there is little shanna standing in between my mom and my sister in a hula costume. what a character she is. love that girl. and then there is the little blonde girl on the left. the one with the bowl cut. the one in the pink shorts.
this little girl is in heaven.
she went back on july 24, 1995. a day i will never forget. i wont go into the details of this day or even the days thereafter, as there are no sufficient words to describe what went on. the day she went back to live with her Heavenly Father is somewhat insignificant in the whole big scheme of things, i think. what is important is that she was amazing and wonderful, and she still is amazing and wonderful. and she made it back. she returned with honor. so maybe the day is important, on second thought, cuz on that day she was right. she was good. and i guess the mourning is really just for us poor earthlings who get left behind. us mortals who still have to deal with all of the issues life throws us, who have to continue on our pursuit to be better people. we have to be right. we have to be good. in some ways i wish i could join her-enjoy the E ticket she has surrendered. i guess that will come one day...we all have to go sometime. i hope i am ready, like she was. i hope i can go with grace like she did. i hope she's the first person i see when that day comes for me.
my grandma when she was older, (she lived to 96) used to say she was ready for her next adventure. she wanted to go. she was ready.
the little blonde girl was ready.
so she went.
just earlier than we thought.
but then again, its not our call.
so on this day, i want to remember her like she was standing next to me. she will never be forgotten. she will not be able to attend the family reunions we have, or the birthday parties which might be thrown, or the festive christmas gatherings. but i get great satisfaction thinking of the family reunion she gets to be a part of every single day, the births she gets to witness and the children she knows...the children us mere mortals haven't even laid eyes on yet.
i will never forget her smiling eyes and her contagious giggle.
her cute little walk and her keen, smart mind.
her quick wit and love for my little children.
i guess someone bigger and better gets to enjoy all of these things.
so this is what you do when the downstairs air conditioner goes out and its hot as you know what and the backyard and pool area
looks like it was bombed.
(and not a little bomb, a BIG bomb...)
watch a spongebob marathon
we of course, the multi-taskers we are, have dumbbells just sitting there in front of the tv ready to make our biceps bigger and triceps defined, while paula is showing us how to make cinnamon rolls and some sort of
delicious main dish
with 2 cubes of butter and a pint of heavy cream.
and then when you are all worn out from doing all those crunches and stuff, you plunk yourself down in the recliner. oh, no pants required. boxers will work just fine.
we are so smart... also have the unopened box of "perfect pushups" just waiting for the right time to be opened...been sitting there a few days now.
i am the baby of the family, so that makes my sister older than me...about 7 years to be exact. since there were so many years between all of us, we did not share the same experiences my children share, being little stair steps. my oldest brother is 16 years older than me, then another brother in between. we grew up in our own little worlds.
i have few memories of being a child...i do remember the large swan blow up toys we had for the pool in tustin, i was about 2 i think...i remember the house nestled in the orange grove in redlands, and the aroma the blossoms would produce in the springtime. i remember the day sam, our samoyed was hit by a car and killed on lugonia ave. my sister was there. we were there together. not a good day. it was a sunday.
i remember the numerous lake powell and lake mead trips we took as a family. i was always one of the little kids. she was one of the cool teenagers.
i remember looking up to my sister as i grew up. she was/is beautiful. i remember her long, silky blonde hair and beautiful fair skin. i remember when we went to guatemala to pick up my brother from his mission, the natives would stare at her and want to touch her hair, like she was some sort of goddess or something. she hated anyone touching her hair...especially strange guatemalan men. that actually was creepy.
she married an amazing guy, and went on to raise 3 darling, intelligent and beautiful children. i remember spending time with her little family when i was at byu and she lived in draper. i felt as if i had a home there. she took care of me and made sure i felt loved when i was an awkward young adult, going through awkward young adult "stuff".
she came to help me move when my life was in turmoil and i had a newborn baby, when i could barely function, let alone relocate. she rescued me willingly and without complaint. when i later unpacked all of the dishes and breakables she had carefully wrapped, they were perfect. swaddled and boxed with incredible care and order.
she is a great organizer and multi-tasker. she is a doer, as my dad would say. she gets things done. and done well. she keeps an impeccable and beautifully decorated home. need to follow her lead there...
i remember the example she was to me when she was having a particularly bad, or i should say terrible, disastrous day. every mother's worst nightmare... and how she was forgiving and calm, pensive and poised, graceful and serene. i will never forget this day. it is seared in my mind. her example has helped me brave trials in my own life and given me hope to continue on even when life is very difficult.
words cannot describe my sister. i could write pages and pages of all the wonderful things she does, and all of the wonderful characteristics she possesses. she is a loving mother and grandmother, beautiful wife and friend. happy birthday, my sister. have a wonderful day. i love you with all my heart.
so my dad is sort of sentimental. he saves the form letter from president bush thanking him for donating to the republican party. he staples them up in his garage by his workshop. also a letter from charlton heston from some gun association. he saves deer antlers and random license plates from cars that have since been sold. but then, according to my mother, he is famous for tossing valuables away. boxes of keepsakes-thrown, even priceless lamps-thrown. the list would most likely be long. he's also been known to over prune trees...but thats another story. he is sort of an impulsive person sometimes. he once threw in the fireplace, accidentally of course, the silk stockings he had purchased for my mother one christmas with hard earned, scarce money, back when they were newly married and when silk stockings were like what a louis vuitton suitcase would be now. get my drift?
so, this is the rattle from a rattlesnake my dad killed when we lived in thousand oaks...about 20 years ago. it was lurking around the backyard while aenon was toddling around the grass looking for bugs and tiny flowers...she was all of 2. our beloved scottish terrier (actually our first child) hung around the backyard too, so this menacing snake was a threat to both of them. one day we all happened to be in the yard. on many occasions, aenon was allowed to go outside by herself, as we could see her from the window, but this day, thank goodness we were all outside. we heard a rustling in the bushes and then the rattling noise. it was ready to strike. grandpa, the cowboy he is, quickly got a shovel and killed the thing with one swift, carefully aimed stab. off went it's head. scary little occasion for us folks who havent been around snakes a lot, but to grandpa this was old hat for him. see, he's the clint eastwood of the family. sort of looks like him too. anyway, he had saved its skin and rattle and kept it in his workshop for all of these years. even through several moves, he always knew where it was packed. a memory he wanted to hang on to, i guess. apparently, he has been known to make belts out of the skin...who knew my dad was such a multi talented cowboy?
so, aenon noticed the lovely skin and rattle the other day when she was visiting them and happened to wander into the garage. there it hung from the antlers, all dry and shriveled up. he re-told the story and carefully took it down from its resting place for all of these years. it was then dipped in resin and left to dry. a glorious necklace now, in the hands now of the one he saved.
fun couple of days at the pool...hale tournament in claremont.
and did i mention i could live there? gorgeous, vintage homes. i think i am really just enamored with the entry ways of the homes, as i look at the photos i took. nothing like an amazing front door, and inviting porch. hmmm, i think mine needs a re-do.
this may be a cryptic message to those of you innocent, cute bloggers who are kind and considerate, Christian and good natured. but to the evil person out there, and you know who you are... keep looking at our blogs, you are just creating a glorious, detailed record of your malicious deeds. you spend a lot of time on our blogs...multiple times every day? and all of those downloaded photos...what do you do with those, if i may ask? you are powerless and pathetic and did i mention sick? get a job or something. in the meantime, we will go on with our very happy lives and continue to post lots of photos of joyous occasions and meaningful events. too bad you are so miserable. but guess what, you will NOT spread your hate to me or my children. i will not allow it. period.
so cowardly, psycho blogger, what you gonna do now?
so this is who ran up excitedly to my car window as i pulled up to the curb
at the long beach airport. 2 happy kids. all smiles.
they jumped in the car, and we hurried to san juan to make it to aenon's hair appointment...thank you michelle for waiting for us and also being the last hairdresser out of there...and by the way, she is the BEST at color. she added beautiful, subtle bits of bright, shiny red to aenon's mane. she has saved her hair numerous times from color mishaps, and makes my gray quietly turn to blonde...love this woman. if you want her phone number, i will provide!
and these cupcakes were waiting for aenon and mikey in the fridge. what a nice surprise when i opened the door to get the chicken salad out. another emma scrumptious treat. so wonderful to have the chicks all here, under one roof,
so emma needed a head to model her cute headband she made, inspired by the renegade craft faire...she looked around and i was it, no other cute young thing hanging around at that particular moment...so my ancient, gray head was a perfect stop for her darling headband.
i was at hunters basketball game last night. heard the crowd laugh and cheer at him barreling down the court so awkwardly and with such force. i swear he is like a bull running down those crowded streets where the people run for their lives. captivating to watch, and apparently the others in the stands think so too. apparently too, his coach nicknamed him "sunshine". very appropriate for my happy go lucky boy. basketball isnt his sport, he is simply playing for the sheer fun and joy of it all, so his skills are a little crude and raw. however, this makes watching him play all the more entertaining. his best friend max, shown here (no 13) has been playing basketball a long time. his skills are refined, his shots are perfect. in fact he won a game the other day by shooting a beautiful basket for 3 points in the last few seconds. he is a phenomenal player, and fun to watch too, because he DOES know what he's doing. hunter on the other hand is the complete opposite.
so, way fun to watch these opposites play, especially when the big opposite draws blood and continues to knock his opposing teammates on the floor like bowling pins, all done unintentionally. just call him the "wall". i think he thinks he is playing water polo on the basketball court.
just realized the root of all of my anxiety and frustration...clutter. i have now realized to be truly happy, i must live in a home that looks like a well kept office or hotel room. i think i like the hotel room example better.
LOVE clean, unadulterated counters.
just realized it though. although Heavenly Father knows it too, he mentions in my patriarchal blessing that i should keep my home "orderly" and "neat".
interesting...(he really knows i am a packrat).
anyway, yesterday went on a rampage of sorts and cleaned off the "junk pile" spot in my kitchen...and that's how i refer to it even when someone asks me where something is..."uh, go look in the junk pile". sure enough, it usually is there stacked in all the random papers and wedding invites and medical receipts and basketball schedules and jewelry that people take off. all amongst the bottles of vitamins and pens and pencils that dont work and the priceless little kid drawings that you hang on to because you dont want a certain someone to find them in the trash and be scarred for life. you know what i mean. hate the shoe issue too. shoes everywhere. had a pile of at least 10 pair of shoes in the kitchen. and why is my kitchen the landing spot for EVERYTHING? and i also have the toy issue. when i had hunter and realized he was going to be my last child, one of the fantasies i had frequently was a life without toys everywhere, and the simple fact that i could lay scissors down on the table and not worry about some child getting killed, and also the fact that no little curious hands would be fumbling through my drawers constantly, misplacing everything i own. well, that fantasy was short lived, because now we have dane, who loves to paint everything. so i now have to guard the finish on my table with my life, and worry about green paint being spilled on my upholstery. he also has these little legos all over the house, along with several swords and shields and loads of video game paraphernalia. most of these things i am describing are all of an inch square. so i have all of these little teeny expensive things scattered all over the house. along with the swords and shields of course, are all the dent marks in my walls...love them too.
i know, i know i will miss all of this one day.
i sound like such a grump.
anyhow, back to my clutter...
so i cleaned it all out of my kitchen. i cannot believe how much better i feel.
now i just have to organize it all into the office.
this is what we saw yesterday on our little field trip to los angeles. amazing amounts of fabric, and since i am a fabric addict, this was heaven for me. almost too much to take in. we found incredible deals on all sorts of beautiful linen, and silks. even found a gorgeous heavyweight linen to re cover my craigslist chairs i got for 20 bucks. so all in all, the re upholstery is whats gonna cost me-the fabric and the chairs were mere pennies. emma also found some beautiful puckered fabric for a duvet cover...cost all of 60 bucks, oh for the silk euro covers too. fabric identical to an anthropologie set up she saw online.
found a wonderful silk for elyse's wedding tables and the grand daddy of them all...a BEAUTIFUL, dusty olive green, heavyweight-a textured, gorgeous, patterned chenille (i think thats what it's called) for aprils gargantuan couch. she bought 40 yards of this amazing one of a kind fabric...and when it was all said and done...CHEAP!!
but the highlight of the day, the bacon wrapped hot dog, purchased from a little cart from a little mexican lady who spoke broken english, eaten on the dirty curb, with the gutter water beneath us, discarded soda cans floating by. i think that hot dog was the best thing i have ever eaten in my life. i was super hungry though...and the homemade pico de gallo was the frosting on the cake.
even found a bead store chock full of rows and rows of beautiful gemstones and polished beads. strands and strands of pearls in all colors. a feast for the eyes for sure. making bracelets today with what we bought. i will have them done soon, april. a little memento from our fun adventure!
so all in all, a very fun day. just LOVE a deal and even a thrill going down a scary stairwell. even if i have to drive to LA to get it. were goin back for more very soon...and the funny thing about this whole trip is that it was inspired by our nail man. nick, the man who meticulously does our nails, all of a sudden starts talking about where to go in LA for "good fabric". we looked at each other like, "how does HE know where to go, AND why does he know about all of these places?" does he in his spare time make clothes or something?