Friday, July 24, 2009

july 24, 1995

this is a photo of my sister's home in draper, maybe about 1981 or mom and my sister standing on the front porch. not sure why i took this photo. i think i was at byu at the time. there is little shanna standing in between my mom and my sister in a hula costume. what a character she is. love that girl. and then there is the little blonde girl on the left. the one with the bowl cut. the one in the pink shorts.

this little girl is in heaven. 

she went back on july 24, 1995. a day i will never forget. i wont go into the details of this day or even the days thereafter, as there are no sufficient words to describe what went on. the day she went back to live with her Heavenly Father is somewhat insignificant in the whole big scheme of things, i think. what is important is that she was amazing and wonderful, and she still is amazing and wonderful. and she made it back. she returned with honor. so maybe the day is important, on second thought, cuz on that day she was right. she was good. and i guess the mourning is really just for us poor earthlings who get left behind. us mortals who still have to deal with all of the issues life throws us, who have to continue on our pursuit to be better people. we have to be right. we have to be good. in some ways i wish i could join her-enjoy the E ticket she has surrendered. i guess that will come one day...we all have to go sometime. i hope i am ready, like she was. i hope i can go with grace like she did. i hope she's the first person i see when that day comes for me. 
my grandma when she was older, (she lived to 96) used to say she was ready for her next adventure. she wanted to go. she was ready.
the little blonde girl was ready.
so she went.
just earlier than we thought.
but then again, its not our call.

so on this day, i want to remember her like she was standing next to me. she will never be forgotten. she will not be able to attend the family reunions we have, or the birthday parties which might be thrown, or the festive christmas gatherings. but i get great satisfaction thinking of the family reunion she gets to be a part of every single day, the births she gets to witness and the children she knows...the children us mere mortals haven't even laid eyes on yet. 

i will never forget her smiling eyes and her contagious giggle. 
her cute little walk and her keen, smart mind.
her quick wit and love for my little children.
i guess someone bigger and better gets to enjoy all of these things.
and i am happy for Him.


Jack and Melissa said...

Well, you've got our tears rolling again...but that's okay. You have been able to put our thoughts in print--which is so hard for us to do. Thank you so much for your sweet thoughts & memories that you have shared about Jessica--we know she sits on your shoulder watching over you & your family. Eternal thanks to you--we love you always & forever, Melissa, Jack, & Jessica

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing that with all. It is always good to take a second, a moment, a breath, and think about how life can change. Blink of an eye. The time it takes to look away and back. A lifetime. No one knows the next chapter, what life will bring. Hug your kids. Tell people you love them. Be thankful. Look for life's moments. Thank you Shawna.

Cortney said...

This is amazing. Wonderful reminder to get my act together!