long overdue

so i havent really addressed the issue at hand.

i have been sort of ignoring it.

brushing it aside.

walking around in a daze, if the truth be known.

eden is gone.

there, i said it outloud.

every time this happens to me, i am driven into a funk.

but this time was different for some reason.

this time was really hard.

i was/am not myself.

and i cry/cried a lot.

i am sort of coming out of it, but can get teary eyed at a moments notice.

especially when i walk past her quiet room...

which is at the top of the stairs.

which i have to pass every time i climb them.

such awful placement.

her bed sits there empty and perfectly made.

no pajamas thrown on the floor.

the bathroom stays untouched.

no makeup stains or toothpaste in the sink.

sometimes i catch myself wondering if she is up out of bed,

or cuddling with maggie on the chaise,

when i am out.

sometimes i catch myself thinking about what to bring her home for dinner.

but she is not there, sleeping or eating.

shes where she needs to be.

and i am happy for her.

her brilliant mind being challenged.

her sweet person rubbing shoulders with others.

her little but mighty wings being put to the test.

i am thrilled for her.

because she will do amazing things.

and has potential impossible to measure.

this perfect girl of mine.

so while i miss her hanging around here, her darling, sweet face in plain sight...

i am content.

and at peace.

even if i have shed a million tears in the past week.

so on a lighter note...

this was our gurus visit with grandma.

i find myself thinking about these sweet potato fries.

a lot.

i think i may be just obsessed with food.

what is wrong with me?

i constantly am crying or thinking about some weird food.

help.

no, not pregnant

so i am craving watermelon these days.

such an odd thing.

i dream of watermelon.

you would think i was pregnant...

but i assure you i am NOT.

one has to be in the fridge at all times.

if i am visiting rich...

i ask before i drive down...

"do you have watermelon?"

he always answers yes, then sighs a little.
like, what is her problem?

i am sure he thinks i am weird.

even have been known to cut one open,

and eat the whole thing in bed...in front of the tv.

what a good man to put up with my cravings.

when i was at my moms last week, i made a special trip to costco.

just for watermelon.

(eden picked it out...we had fun finding the right one)

made her carry it too.

her comment was.

"is this what it feels like to be pregnant, cuz this sucks"

yes, my darling...

you feel like you are carrying around a watermelon in your belly.

supported only by a few ligaments, stretched muscles and a squished bladder.

oh, and it wiggles a lot.

so fun.

and do you know how to pick out a good one?

it has to sound hollow when you knock on it.

like the sound of pounding on your chest.

compare it to the sound of knocking on your head as opposed to your chest.

you want chest sound!

then a nice big yellow spot is good.

means it ripened a bit in the field.

and bee stings are good too.

my mom always told me that.

so go buy yourself a nice big watermelon.

before its too late.

ever heard of shell week?

third annual shell week at camp pendelton has come to a close.

these water polo boys trained there for a couple of days...

at this beautiful pristine beach reserved only for military.

spent the night in the sand and everything.

they ran a lot, did sit ups in the water and pretty much were worked...hard.

i told the boys as we were driving home how fortunate they are.

to be from such a beautiful place.

to be able to take part in such wonderful activities.

that they are truly blessed.

and are few and far between.

basically...

they live in la la land.

a big giant orange county bubble.

which will burst one of these days soon...

so.

get ready to be out on your butts, little boys.

because that day is coming.

but i guess in the meantime, enjoy the ride.

i guess it is important to show everyone just how tan you are.

maybe its hanging around in a speedo all day long that makes you a little "free".

i dont know.

someone explain it to me please.

some things never change.

wood ranch rolls, cheesy potatoes...

and costco tri tip...a shell week tradition for dinner.

our beloved coach gibson and his daughter gracie.

my friends, the water polo people. such a good bunch.

then, when i arrived to pick up hunter and brendan i was greeted with...

"hunter just saved a marine"

what?

the surf was huge...

 apparently a marine was surfing in this mess, 

and got overwhelmed in the churning water.

and i mean churning.

it was ferocious.

he was calling frantically for help. 

so hunter didnt hesitate.

and ran into the surf.

and carried him out.

the wind knocked out of him.

too bad i missed it by 10 minutes.

just glad he had the inclination to empty his pockets before he jumped in.

yay for his iphone.

good thing hunter, you brought your sponge bob cut offs

to change into.

since your other pajama bottoms got wet from saving someones life.

i wonder if that marine will tell his buddies

he was saved by some punk kid in pajama bottoms?

yes, we are a casual group, arent we.