now its february...

and still no action on this thing.

so i will talk about hunter.

and how wonderful he is.

and how strong he is.

and what a man he is.

i know im biased big time, but he is awesome.

for sure.

so he went to this dance thing, called orangetopia.

at the honda center.

they took a bootleg party bus driven by some sketchy mexican guy...

and had a fun time...

went to macaroni grill and ate spaghetti probably.

and hunter ate lots of bread i am sure.

with vinegar and oil.

i even waited up for him till like 2am.

(i had a nap from 9-1am)

didnt get many details out of him

as he laid on my bed.

rubbing his eyes.

just that is was "good".

and you know, thats all i needed.

was him home safe and a smile on his face.

so we took pictures before all of this party bus stuff...

it was freezing cold.

you utah people think were wimps, cuz i think it was 58 degrees

when i got back in the car-my ears and hands frozen solid.

i know, we are spoiled for sure.

and as i was taking pictures and watching the interaction between all these cute kids.

i couldnt help but think how blessed i am

to have good children who rub shoulders with other good children.

i watched them be sweet to each other

and happily introduce themselves to those who they didnt know.

i watched respect and love for their parents

and a certain care for their special friends.

i often think they may not realize how lucky they are

or take for granted the lives they live.

however, i dont think that applies to this group.

i think they know, and have a certain

appreciation for their lives.

and how truly blessed and fortunate they are.

they are the asb presidents and the special needs kids mentors.

the pokemon club members, honor students and ones who get gpas more than 4.0.

and im proud of every one of them.

and the goodness they possess.

and then i thought about how this is fleeting.

and how in about a year and a half, it will be all over for hunter.

and me.

he will be a big boy...

off to conquer the world.

by himself.

the heart of a mother

is a terrible mix of anguish and happy

jubilation and ache

excitement and pain

i swear i can do this.

yes i can.

yes i can.

just think i may need a xanax after all.

and i always swore i wouldnt resort to drugs.