do as i'm doing, follow, follow me...

one thing my dad taught me was to always do what you say you are going to do. he taught me this primarily by his actions, not his words. i grew up watching a very patient man with an incredible amount of dignity and integrity. he always followed through with what he said he was going to do. always put things away where they should go and never, ever did he not finish a project or task unless completed perfectly. i was by his side a lot of the time, handing him tools or helping to pick up the mess of the glorious project he was working on. he has built many things for me. among them a chicken coop, or more like a walk in chicken mansion with running water and custom nesting boxes. we ate fresh eggs every day for years, and needless to say, my chickens lived in blissful luxury. he built me a wonderful arbor off of my dining room, so i could drape my favorite vine for shade. he would always involve me in the planning of the project-sitting at the kitchen table mulling over the type of wood and nails we should use-how tall, how wide. then off we went to the lumber yard. last christmas dane asked grandpa for a sword. grandpa asked, "what do you want it to look like?" dane had no idea what he would receive in the mail, a sword made exactly to his specifications. beautifully painted in the exact shade he had specified. dane asked for another sword this year. at thanksgiving grandpa and dane sat at the kitchen table designing his masterpiece. 2 weeks later, a long cylindrical package came in the mail. grandpa did what he said he was going to do. he completed his project with amazing finesse. in grandpas distinct writing the words "don't open till christmas" were splashed all over the brown tube. i knew what magic was waiting in that tube. when dane opened the package this morning, there i was in all it's glory. the older kids immediately wanted to take a closer look at the masterpiece that was before them.

and he taught me all these many wonderful things by not even uttering a single word.

happy winter

as i get older i have come to appreciate a certain quiet that i never valued before. i have come to learn that staying quiet is much better than saying something you may later regret. that quiet time is extemely under rated. i long for a certain peace which may never be available to me.

i forgot how much i like this song...

what i am thankful for...

thanksgiving has come and gone, and was a wonderful holiday spent with my mom and dad. we gorged on fresh shrimp and crab, snickers pancakes and the best eggs benedict imaginable...all set out under a beautiful sunset with an ocean view. i asked the kids if we should just make a turkey at home, and got a stern, "no". so off to the st regis...5th time, i think. it is an official tradition now. i was just glad the porn stars werent there this time. i dont know what i would have said to my dad! the first year we went, a bunch of porn stars and their porn friends were sat at a very large table front and center. lets just say there was lots of skin, sky high heels and big hair. even a sequined bikini top on one, with a fur coat dripping off her shoulders. why couldnt they have just stayed in the san fernando valley for thanksgiving. arent there some nice hotels there? encino maybe? north hollywood? good thing hunter hadnt hit pubery yet. dont think he even noticed, phew. it was really bad when the big girls announced that, "ron jeremy is here!" who in the heck is ron jeremy, i asked myself. well, come to find out, my girls announced, with mischevious smirks on their faces who he was. the second those words came from their not so innocent mouths, i was thinking, "how do my girls know who ron jeremy is????" panic quickly overtook my body. my blood ran cold and for a split second my life flashed in front of me...luckily, they explained it all away...thank goodness. he was on some mtv reality show, watched by ever teenager in the world, so i ended up being the only one who didnt know who he was...until then.